You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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