We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
