hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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