I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
