Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Even my vagina gasped.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
