they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
