she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
