i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
it glows. i had to have it.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
So much rum. So many feels.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
