Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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