So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
