Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
