i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize