so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
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Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
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one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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