is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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