just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You made out with two different species that night
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
