No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
