Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize