So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
