Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the jesus of drinking
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize