She went from zero to smokin in five shots
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
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you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
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This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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