Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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