new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
