i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
