i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
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I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
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I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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