I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
