I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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