we have pet lesbian snakes
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
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