I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
