i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize