They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
