so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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