My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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