i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Do you still have your period?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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