He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
