Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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