It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
