So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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