its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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