dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Say something about gay babies.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
