you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
