I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize