The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
