Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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