You're so nebulous sometimes
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize