Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
