After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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