That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I supernannyed him into submission
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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