It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
