He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
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She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
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You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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