My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.