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Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Randomize
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