Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.

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(810) Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal. http://tfl.nu/hj11

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(810): View more from Michigan

oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno

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(810): oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno http://tfl.nu/xl94

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(416): View more from Ontario

Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!

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(416): Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro! http://tfl.nu/k0oj

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(812): View more from Indiana

How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?

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(812): How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt? http://tfl.nu/qj8s

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(303): View more from Colorado

I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away

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(303): I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away http://tfl.nu/qpjo

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(440): View more from Ohio

omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had

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(440): omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had http://tfl.nu/fpfu

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....

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(724): Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on.... http://tfl.nu/te8z

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(805): View more from California

It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese

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(805): It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese http://tfl.nu/i0pz

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(207): View more from Maine

There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.

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(207): There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth. http://tfl.nu/nr8v

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.

(1-203): View more from Connecticut

You were.

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(203): I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night. (1-203): You were. http://tfl.nu/s399

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(972): View more from Texas

Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.

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(972): Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate. http://tfl.nu/fawd

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(415): View more from California

The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!

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(415): The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco! http://tfl.nu/lulq

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(315): View more from New York

I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night

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(315): I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night http://tfl.nu/ggh6

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(980): View more from North Carolina

You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.

(336): View more from North Carolina

Haha hell yea

(980): View more from North Carolina

Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.

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(980): You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday. (336): Haha hell yea (980): Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday. http://tfl.nu/pa5o

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(613): View more from Ontario

So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed

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(613): So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed http://tfl.nu/pqem

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