I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.