So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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