Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
