So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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