That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
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