i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
