Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
