OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
